To soften hatred is the first stage in the development of compassion. To succeed, we must first fully understand that feeling hatred is irrational. We hate someone because they harm us, whether intentionally or not, and we feel hurt. However, they harm us because they truly are not free to choose. In some cases, they genuinely believe they are doing the right thing. They allow events and circumstances to control them or allow strong, uncontrollable emotions to dominate them. They are not in control of themselves. Some people are completely overwhelmed by emotions like a madman or a drunkard, individuals who cannot be considered fully responsible for their actions. We should not hold the words of a drunk or a madman or treat them with undue severity. We should treat those who harm us in the same way.
Perhaps we are hurt by unpleasant words or actions, but the one who will suffer the most from the consequences of these is the one who truly harms us. Indeed, this person, under the influence of negative emotions, will accumulate negative karma resulting in negative consequences. If we believe in the law of karma, we understand that those who harm others will suffer painful consequences, not because of external intervention, but because of the power of their own actions. Therefore, such a person is more deserving of pity than hatred, and we have no reason not to forgive them. On the contrary, we have every reason to feel compassion for them. From this perspective, hatred becomes almost irrational. That doesn't mean we shouldn't try to prevent that person from harming us or themselves, but we don't need to hate them.
Hatred means failure, while compassion is a victory. Swami Vivekananda, a saint from India, was traveling by train in India. An ill-mannered passenger did everything possible to insult him. Swami Vivekananda did not respond. When the passenger grew weary of his insults, Vivekananda asked him, "If someone offers you a gift but you refuse it, who receives the gift?" The passenger replied, "That person receives it." At that moment, Vivekananda said, "I do not accept what you say." Not responding to hatred with hatred is a victory because hatred breeds tension and unpleasant emotions, while compassion brings peace. By overcoming hatred, envy, greed, and dissatisfaction, we can find happiness, peace, and comfort in the warmth of kindness. Compassion brings peace and fosters a positive attitude. When no negativity disturbs us, we feel light, free, and content. Those around us will also feel this warmth and recognize our compassion. Enthusiastic individuals, those with a kind heart, make others want to converse with them, to be close to them.
From Nhất Tâm Kính Phật
